When visiting Brazil, whether it’s on vacation, a business trip or other purposes, and no matter whether you’re a man or a woman, there is always the possibility that you’ll end up in a situation where you need a room for one, two or three hours.
Enter: Love Motels!
If you’re in Rio de Janeiro, love motels are common and rent rooms by the hour. Motels here are not exactly the same as in, for example, the US. In Brazil, you go to a motel to have sex, or at least to try.
But how does that work? you might ask.
Well, it’s really not that hard (which is not what I would want you to have to admit to the girl you just took there).
Here are a few pointers for all you SINGLE, UNMARRIED people out there who are planning to come to Brazil at some point in their lives, with no intention whatsoever to cheat on their spouse or other people they have a relationship with.
Love Motels… Better to be informed, right?
- Don’t pick a motel that looks cheap. If it looks cheap, it usually is, meaning that things might just not be as clean as you would like it. The more expensive ones usually are surprisingly clean.
- You don’t NEED to bring protection. It is usually available (sort of a room service thing) at no extra charge. Of course this is for the normal stuff. You might find a kind of menu (like a mini bar list) where they offer various sex toys, gels and other stuff to “enhance the experience” and these, of course, are not free.
- Most motels will have different kinds of rooms or suites, from basic to luxurious. Obviously the luxurious ones will take a bigger bite out of your budget.
- For reasons of discretion, every room should have a separate garage box, from where you have access to the room. Just park your car inside, lock the door and enter the room.
- Once inside the room pick up the phone and let the receptionist know that you are going to use the room. You don’t have to dial any number. The connection is automatic. Some rooms have a sauna or a Jacuzzi, and in case you cannot figure out how to operate these (or you have a hard time finding the porn channel on the TV), again, just pick up the phone and ask. That’s what the receptionist is there for.
- After you did what you came to do, you once more pick up the phone and ask the receptionist to “fechar a conta” and someone will come to the room and receive your money. (Hint: the phone is the most important instrument in the room)
- I would suggest to have cash on you to pay the bill. Sometimes paying with a card can be complicated because the wireless card reader doesn’t have a signal all the way to the room etc.
- If you’re an adventurer and pick up someone from the sidewalk, make sure that your great looking woman isn’t a guy… Seriously… these guys are amazingly good at what they do (dressing up as a woman).
- Also make sure that your partner is of age. Unfortunately, many under-aged girls and boys are forced to roam the streets of cities like Rio de Janeiro to support their families or their crack addiction. Please stay as far away as possible!!! Outside of the obvious reasons, if you get caught with a minor in a motel, you will suffer dire consequences. You’ll end up in a Brazilian jail, which is already a frightening place, but deadly for child molesters, and almost certainly your face will be shown on national TV as well.
- If you come to Brazil as a couple though, I think it could be a great and fun idea, as well as an offbeat experience to try out a few love motels. No kidding.
Hopefully this was useful, or at least entertaining.